Gingerbread recipes that you’ll scroll halfway through before buying a tube of Pillsbury sugar cookies with trees on them

Everything is fine and the holidays are totally not stressful at all.

Mini Vegan Gingerbread Cakes

A perfect challenge for the gingerbread aficionado, great for hosting guests, and an ideal way to give your loved ones a custom feeling little cake, and stays accessible for a variety of diets and tastes.

Step 1: Preheat oven to 350°F.
Step 2: In a large bowl, whisk together all the dry ingredients, flour through nutmeg. In a separate bowl, mix the remaining wet ingredients. Combine the two mixes, whisking until a thin batter forms.
Step 3: Coat a 12-cup mini bundt cake pan with cooking spray. You don’t own a 12 cup mini bundt cake pan, shit. I guess we’re going to Target. And now that we’re here, we may as well just get some of those basic-ass oven cookies from Pillsbury that take literally 10 minutes and taste just fine, let’s scrap this and get some of those instead.
The blank and vacant stare of convenience.

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Gingerbread People

What could be more classic than the ‘ol plate full of gingerbread folk? A wonderful way to not only decorate the house and guest area, but also a delicious treat for the whole family. Nothing is better than crunchy, sweet, simulated cannibalism.

Ingredients
Cookies:
  • 11 1/4 ounces all-purpose flour (about 2 1/2 cups)
  • 1 tablespoon ground ginger
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup butter, softened
  • 1/4 cup golden cane syrup (such as Lyle’s Golden Syrup)
  • 2 tablespoons molasses
  • Holy crap, molasses? We don’t have molasses just sitting around, what the hell, there’s so much stuff to have to get for these tiny things, whyyyyyy did you decide to do this, now I need to figure out what to do with the whole bottle of cane syrup I bought at the hellishly crowded grocery store and why even do this when you know it’s going to end up looking like a Pinterest fail.

Carol and her stuck-up kids will be 100% fine eating some humble sugar circles with a deformed tree on it, why bother?

Gingerbread Cookies

So these have to be easier, right? Just some nice, simple cookies in that delicious, traditional material. Sugary, with that perfect bit of spice, no winter is complete without it.

Buuuuuut we’re already in the cold aisle to grab eggnog, and it’s been a hell of a day trying to find something impressive that you can snack on while getting nog-wasted at the office party, you can feel the energy draining from the thought of having to mix and wash and bake something from scratch. Look! They have organic pre-mixed cookie dough bites, which practically makes them healthy.

Let’s get 20.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post has not been sponsored by any baking companies, but we would gladly join any and all cookie sponsorship opportunities in the future.

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